HOW CAN WE PREVENT BULLYING?

Bullying can take place at home, school, or the workplace.  I can tell you personally that I was severely bullied as a child at school.  I remember being forced to give up my lunch and even switch out the clothes I was wearing so others could wear them!  I was threatened over and over that if I didn't comply, I would be beat up after school and that my long blonde braid would be cut off from my head!  I would grab my siblings and run home as fast as I could to prevent being physically abused.  At such a young age, I was scared to to death and at the same time afraid to tell anyone what was happening to me.  After two miserable years, I remember very well the day we moved from that town.  It was the happiest day of my life!

It certainly seems that most children whether at home or school have sustained some type of bullying.  Even though bullying has been a part of history, a recent surge has brought an outcry from parents, educators, and the community at large.  With these concerns in mind, two possible solutions in helping families that are influenced by the negative effects of bullying are to incorporate a positive parenting style with sound skills and become familiar with educational resources that will benefit families, schools, and the communities.

While attending college, I wrote a research paper titled, "Families and the Negative Impact of Bullying."   Below is an outline from this paper of the most important aspects we can follow to hopefully provide solutions in eliminating bullying forever!

First we need to understand that bullying is found in both cyber and traditional ways.  Even though physical abuse and relational abuse are the more traditional ways of bullying, cyber bullying through texting, social media, and email have a more negative effect on families than traditional bullying.

Two possible solutions in helping families combat the influences of bullying.

1.  To have a better parent-child interaction through positive parenting skills. 

• An authoritative parenting style (remember this is the best way to parent!)  is most productive in teaching positive social skills with peers as it features warmth and responsiveness, autonomy granting, establishing rules and setting limits.
• An authoritarian parenting style which includes coercive forms of verbal hostility and corporal punishment are correlated with children who display aggressive interactions with and are rejected by their peers.
• A permissive parenting style which allows the child to make their own decisions without parental guidance also have problem behaviors, disrespect others and are frustrated in general.
• Poor marital relationships can also cause child-parent relationships to strain and create internalizing and externalizing behaviors with children.     

Please remember that most bullying practices start in the home before the child ever enters school.  It's important that parents teach their children how to control their aggression. Most importantly, parents need to teach their children that bullying is unacceptable and not "a way of life."

2.  To have an educational solution that can provide opportunities in alleviating bullying in the home, school, and the community.

• Raising awareness helps to alleviate bullying.
• Whole school policies help to prevent bullying.
• Supervision in home and school help to prevent bullying.
• Social and curriculum programs can assist in reducing bullying.
• An educational concept is to discourage bullying in schools.

The implications found in this research are that teachers and professionals that work with bully victims might better understand that those who are victimized show that they need help in dealing with feelings, making friends, and how they interact.  The implications of positive parenting styles and skills show that children have positive social skills in dealing with their family and friends.

I hope we can all learn that bullying can have a negative life changing effect on the modern family. Also, that positive parenting styles and skills can encourage competent social skills with peers and that educational resources help to prevent bullying in the home, school, and the community.  As parents and educators we must stop bullying NOW!